2013 was an intense year for me if given the opportunity to ramble I know I will go on and on so I figured it would be important for me to follow some sort of structure -
Health
2013 saw me deal with the worst health issues I have ever dealt with. With a history of kidney stones (something I am still dealing with currently and will probably always have to deal with due to limited treatment options) I was dismayed to be diagnosed with gallstones in around April. Why does my body insist on forming this problematic stones that lead to constant discomfort as well as episodes of intense pain? Whilst gallstones and kidney stones are hardly the worst illness one could have I was disappointed in myself, at 26 I am meant to be fit and healthy and here I was discovering I had a condition commonly diagnosed in middle aged women. Gallstones are difficult to treat and can lead to far more sinister issues so I found myself in situation where I was to choose between surgery or live in fear of being struck down by a gallstone attack. I've always been a wuss and whilst I consider myself to have a very high tolerance to pain I opted for surgery. Thankfully after being put on the waiting list I only waited a few months before being booked for surgery followed by an overnight stay at the hospital.
The surgery was meant to be simple and was meant to fix me, the day came and went - I won't lie I was terrified. The night following my surgery was horrible I don't enjoy the weird zombie state pain killers put me in and I felt uncomfortable and miserable in the ward where many others were being sick. I got through it though, unfortunately following the surgery I developed some digestive issues. Later in the year I was diagnosed with IBS, turns out having IBS and no gallbladder can lead to some pretty yucky and occasionally pretty painful symptoms! Thankfully now that I know what is going on in my problematic tum I am preparing to overhaul my diet completely so that I can begin to find some sort of relief. I have always eaten whatever I like, McDonalds? Yes please. Chocolate? Of course! Ice cream? I won't say no! Well those days are gone, I've even found my beloved wine to sit strangely with me now...such a shame.
Career
I started my job in late 2012, so essentially 2013 was my first year in my role. My most difficult role yet...working with vulnerable people has definitely been challenging. I have had days where I have come home and needed to just sit by myself for an hour to digest the day, I've had days where I have bounded home in joy busking in that lovely warm feeling of knowing that I have "helped someone." I have worked with people who suffer from psychotic episodes, anxiety attacks and crippling depression as well as people with autism and cerebral palsy. Having wanted to work in the community sector since being a teenager I always thought that would mean I would be good at it as well. However sometimes I feel that I am at point of burning out, some people work in the sector for 20 years before they burn out, I'm not so sure I will make it that long, I'm not done yet but maybe in 2014 I will be.
Relationships
2013 threw a few curveballs at me in terms of friendships. I have a solid group of close friends that I have had for a long time, everything was going so well we all were on the same page in life plodding along working and catching up regularly. It turns out 2013 was a big year for a lot of my friends too, this year has seen quite a few of my friends tie the knot, several have had babies and quite a few have made the very grown up step and bought a house. As someone who has always been one to compare myself to others (I know not such a healthy habit) I found the year challenging. I had a bit of an identity crisis when I realised everyone I knew was growing up without me I was torn between pushing myself to keep up and being stubborn and waving goodbye "well fine you want to have a baby and settle down so you can't come out with me anymore then fine see you later! I don't need you anyway!" No no Angie, you can't fight change especially someone else's change, you can't hold people back just because you aren't ready or you haven't reached that time in your life.
2013 really felt unlucky to me and I find it funny that there were times throughout the year where I thought "I can't wait for this year to be over!" Why? The new year may be just as challenging but I am looking forward to 2014 and there are several things I think I would like to try to do this year.
- I want to become more reliable, in the past I have been described as "flaky and disorganised" it's time to step up, get on top of the house work, reply to messages within a few hours instead of a few days and be on time to things more often!
- Save money! I've been lucky in life I have never had a lot of debt or a lot of expenses so for that reason I have been careless with money, in particular I have spent too much money on clothes I don't need and cosmetics! This year I would like to incorporate the policy that I only buy new cosmetics when I am completely finished the old ones, why the hell do I have 4 bottles of half used shampoo?!
- Finally a bit of a goofy one, I want to grow my natural hair colour out. I haven't seen it in 10 years! All over my head that is and I want to see it again I want to see myself with he hair colour I was meant to have. It will be hard though as I'm pretty sure it's a very dull mousey light brown hence why I have dyed it for so long!
Okay so I am exhausted from all the thinking and remembering I have done now, looking forward to a much brighter post at the end of this year!
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